Coping mechanisms and positive thinking

As humans, we are often prone to be governed by our emotions, particularly during our teenage years, when everything is usually blamed by hormones. However, problems are more likely to be accentuated by late nights, alcohol and bad eating habits rather than the weird chemical messages our brain sends through our bodies. (Biology students, feel free to attack me here, metaphorically of course). Adults generally see teenagers as ungrateful for their youth and they consider our actions to be impulsive and wasteful, but when you're young and going through that process of being self-conscious and discovering who you are all at the same time, it can be pretty nerve-wracking. I mean, they should be sympathetic to our experiences - after all, they have gone through it themselves!

What I'm getting at with this mumbo jumbo is that we all have a coping mechanism. Even if we feel entirely out of our depth, most of us have an ability to see that there is some way out of this utter mess that we think we're in (and in retrospect it's often nowhere near as bad as we thought it was). There are so many situations with which one can approach this type of thinking - coping with moving away from home, coping with finding new friends, coping with a break-up; coping with pretty much anything which presents difficulties in one's life. And let's be honest, there's a shed load of things that can cause ruffles in our feathers!

This coping mechanism is something that I'd like to call an inner faith in one's own ability. Often, the difficulty that prevents this coping mechanism from working for young people is that demonic inner struggle of self-criticism. During teenage years, self-deprecation is a common occurrence because there's so many standards that you think you need to be maintaining, yet when it boils down to it, they really are quite insignificant. As you grow older (and hopefully more mature), you tend to realise that becoming your own person, and getting used to your shortcomings is actually an essential part of accepting yourself and getting towards happiness; both within yourself and in your outlook towards life. Being able to say, "yeah I may not be an expert at that, but I'm trying" is a wonderful asset to have. It makes you human. Don't always strive for perfection, because you're just setting yourself up for a fall, and in my opinion, perfection isn't something humans should be looking to achieve as we are created imperfect, despite what Matthew 5:48 says. (What do you expect?! I'm a Theology student - of course I'm going to quote the Bible somewhere in these nonsensical posts!)

Anyway, this inner faith - it's not necessarily a religious thing. It certainly can be drawn from that vein of thought, if one so wishes; for many people draw strength from having a higher power in which to believe, but that is not my particular line of thinking here. I put to you instead that this inner faith is an expression of confidence, an exuberance of love for oneself (nothing like narcissism), but an acceptance of yourself in your entirety, physicality and mentality - warts and all. 
My philosophy has always been - and many of you already know this - that if you cannot accept yourself, and do not know who your are as a person; then you cannot even think about getting in a relationship with someone else. You have to be entirely self-assured to be able to then support someone else in their endeavors. Now I realise there are problems with this - how can anybody be entirely self-assured? There's obviously going to be moments when you will have periods of great self-doubt, or difficult days when you're feeling a little insecure. However, I'm not saying you should feel superhuman all the time, but generally you should be able to feel comfortable with who you are, what your passions are in life, and what goals you are working towards. This is why I think so many teenage relationships are prone to failure - because the teenagers are trying to find someone to complete them, instead of completing themselves, through self-discovery and then seeking a partner. It's why I dislike the term "other half" when referring to a romantic partner - you are your own whole person, not a half of anything. You do not need completing, you are your own entity - your own person and you deserve the autonomy and self-respect that comes with that. Have a partner, yes, but do not make them your whole world, for when that terminates, (for whatever reason, it will eventually either through death, infidelity, illness, or incompatibility) where will you be living? In utter hell, no doubt. I don't mean to sound facetious or harsh here, but I'm speaking in blunt terms because I don't want to mince my words. I'm generally quite romantic, but realistic in terms of people's individual goals and aspirations. I'm not one who generally focuses on regrets - I focus on moving forward as opposed to looking back. Positive thinking guys, you should try it!

Often when we're in the midst of what we perceive to be a crisis we're very self-involved, and often believe the world is collapsing around us. But if you look at your situation with objective eyes (as much as you possibly can), you'll see that you're bound to be exaggerating the drama you're going through. Everything seems to be a nightmare when you're experiencing it, but when you actually sit down and think about it, in the grand scheme of life, it's really not all that bad. And always think - I know it's a cliché - but it's true, "it could be so much worse."

I've kind of gone on a weird tangent (God help my essays when terms starts!) Anybody, please feel free to challenge anything I say. I do not write these posts to be dogmatic, and I certainly know I am not the authority on anything I talk about. These posts are simply, as Plato would say, "true opinions".

So when you next have a rough day, just think about the message I'm trying to convey here. It's not the end of world...until December...Stay tuned!